Overcoming "Learned Helplessness"
As a caregiver, have you ever found yourself saying the following? "I know my husband can help dress himself but he just expects me to do it all for him."
There are many reasons a person may no longer do the activities that you believe they are capable of performing. Some reasons may include the person:
feeling depressed or hopeless and may have an attitude of "giving up."
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having memory loss and their skills may vary depending on the day or task.
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tiring easily and having poor endurance.
Many of these things can lead to a theory that psychologist Dr. Martin Seligman Ph.D. describes as "learned helplessness". A person may feel powerless over a situation and no longer have the motivation to improve it.
The best way to overcome "learned helplessness" is through empowerment, which means "invest with power" or "authorize". The person who is being cared for needs to feel empowered and that they have control over some aspect of their life, even if it is small. The caregiver can play a big role in helping their loved one to overcome "learned helplessness" by simply increasing their own awareness of what they do and don't do for the care recipient. One can learn to look differently at the daily tasks done for the loved one and ask the following questions:
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Can he do any aspect of this task by himself? If so, can I let him do that?
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Is there a way this task could be modified to allow him to do it for himself? How can I change this task to make it easier?
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If I allowed more time, would he be able to do this for himself?
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How does my tone of voice sound when I ask him to do something?
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Am I giving choices to him or am I making all the choices by myself?
Hopefully, through these questions, you will find some answers to empower your loved one. A different approach to daily activities may help your loved one overcome "learned helplessness" and ultimately make life a little easier for both you and the care recipient.